When God Speaks in Silence

When Tami and I moved to Pennsylvania in July of 2019, after our arrival, it became very clear to me that God said, “sit still and do nothing.”

For me, a ‘creative’, AND one who feels responsible to financially support his family, this was a difficult ‘undertaking’. To do nothing… to just ‘be’ with God, to our earthly way of thinking seems a ‘waste’, or ‘lazy’, or however else you wish to label the action, or the lack thereof.

But that is what God said to me, clearly and distinctly… In fact, after about two weeks of sitting still in our new residence, I thought I might go for a little walk. A simple walk. A short walk, (simply because I DON’T like to walk) and it was for me, just a distraction from sitting still.

So I embarked on a short walk down our little country road in the middle of a beautiful summer day. About two thirds of the way into my walk, I stumbled into a swarm of yellow jackets in the middle of the paved road. They rushed me, and I recieved 37 stings on my legs, which were bare because I was wearing shorts. I ran away as fast as I could, screaming and swatting my cap at my legs, trying to fend them off. The days and the week that followed was one where I could not sleep, or even let my legs touch the bed. It was a difficult lesson, but one well learned. I then realized that God was serious… ‘be still, and know that I am God’.

So, for three months after that, I was still. I did a few computer projects for my artist friend in Jackson and my son and for the Regina Academy where my wife is the headmistress. Other than that, I sat, and prayed.

Then, as Advent approached, God said to me, ‘pray and fast for the souls of your children’. So on the morning of December 1, my wife and I set out to Mass at St. Stephen’s of Hungary in Allentown. During the Mass, I began my prayers for my children. It was my intention to fast until Christmas Day.

That afternoon I received a call from the Wyoming Highway Patrol alerting me to the tragic news that my son John Joseph had passed away in a car accident.

It was then I understood why God had me to be silent for three months. It was crystal clear. The world does not know how to account for ‘lost time’ which is spent on spiritual efforts. But I was firmly convinced that God was preparing me, and preparing my son and all of my loved ones through my prayers for him and for all.

As a part of my prayers, this was a 200 hour project of meditation which I took upon myself at that time, and it is to my son John that I dedicate this memorial rosary.

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